High school

1. DID YOU DATE SOMEONE FROM YOUR SCHOOL? Just someone? NO I dated lots of someone's from school... The list is too long to name them all.

2.WHAT KIND OF CAR DID YOU DRIVE? I drove the DODGE!!! Yeah, I totally thought I was cool. At least all the guys liked it.

3. DID YOU PASS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TEST YOUR FIRST TRY? Barely. My test was right after Kent's funeral and I was a mess.

4. WERE YOU A PARTY ANIMAL? Define party animal... No I didn't drink or any of that stuff but I was pretty crazy.

5. WERE YOU CONSIDERED A FLIRT? I was more of a TEASE!

6. WERE YOU IN BAND, ORCHESTRA, OR CHOIR? Yup, I was in choir my sophomore year. And President too!!

7. WERE YOU A NERD? No I was an all-around girl.

8. WERE YOU ON ANY VARSITY TEAMS? Varsity loud mouth maybe.

9. DID YOU EVER GET SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? Heck no! Officer Creager was on my side, plus everyone (who didn't know me) thought he was my real dad.

10. CAN YOU STILL SING THE FIGHT SONG? Um, I never could to begin with.

11. WHO WERE YOUR FAVORITE TEACHERS? There are so many... I loved Mr Horne aka "daddy", I liked Teacher Karen (child care), JO (agriculture) Mr Thompson (gym) Deann (dance) and Mr Geoff (choir)... can't think of others at the moment

12. WHERE DID YOU SIT FOR LUNCH? Wherever... either in the cafeteria or I would grab a bite to eat on my way back from the ATC

13. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S FULL NAME? Fremont High School

14. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S MASCOT AND COLORS? Wolf, burgundy, blue & silver

15. WHO WAS HOMECOMING ROYALTY? um... who cares? The only one I can remember is the one who wore her tennis shoes under her dress. As for names, again, I don't really care.

16. IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN WOULD YOU? Only because I miss the friendships.

17. WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT GRADUATION? I remember the dedication to those who passed on... it was pretty sweet. But I was also bitter because I didn't get to be with my real best friends.

18. WHERE DID YOU GO SENIOR SKIP DAY? I went to school, sadly I had A LOT of credits to make up.

19. WERE YOU IN ANY CLUBS? nope, I really wasn't happy in school so I didn't want to be any more apart of it than necessary.

20. HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT SINCE THEN? Well after graduation I lost A LOT of weight and then I gained most of it back when I started caring about my diabetes. But I am slowly, but surely, losing it again.

21. WHO WAS YOUR PROM DATE? Cotillion date? His name was Brandon Anderson and he was from Layton. He was only 16 (yes I robbed the cradle) but I was really into him. And we have stayed friends all these years and he even served his mission with another of my ex's.

22. ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION? I did go to the 10. I was really looking forward to going but then something happened about a week before and so I was pretty unhappy there. I wish we would have a 15 and go have a picnic or something so we can meet everyone's family (hint, hint Natalie)

23. DID YOU HAVE A JOB IN HIGH SCHOOL? not until the middle of senior year, and it was Harmons.

24. WERE YOU AN HONOR STUDENT? hahaha, i never had over a 3.0, until senior year. then it was nothing under a 3.5

25. Did you take Seminary? Yes I did. Bro Hall- sophomore, Bro Hadley- junior and Bro Happy Ditton- senior

26. WHAT WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOUR MOST FUN TIME? I just loved the friendships. Anything with my friends was great. And the dances... especially ALL of us piled into a suburban and playing at West Weber elem.

27. WERE YOU CONSIDERED SHY OR OUTGOING? Definitely not shy.

28. ANY LAST MEMORIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE? Well a few more fond memories were stealing signs, stealing things off people's houses (roy high rival's houses), dragging the vard, going to Fresh, being friends with everyone, dying our hair, having crush after crush after crush on the guys, not having a care in the world, hanging out at Pilot, dances, stomps, sluffing at Layton at layton and clearfield, going to Sill's for breakfast, going to Big Z's, rodeo's, the fair, dating, dating, dating and causing good mischief.

Happy 6 months ROO!!

So today is Ashlyn's 6 month Birthday. Seriously, where does the time go? She is so much fun and SUCH a happy girl. She still doesn't fuss and it is great. She sleeps at least 9 hours at night and is so close to rolling over... it will be any day now. She also can sit by herself for about 3 seconds. Her favorite game is to grab onto Uncle Bud's goatee and scream, then he screams and she screams even louder. It is so cute. She loves him. We go to the doctor on Friday for her shots and check-up. Not looking forward to that, but at least daddy will be there this time to help comfort her. We also have gone for 4 months with no breathing problems... until tonight. She was upstairs just playing on the floor and she started flailing and arching her back and then her face turned red. So I pick her up and run downstairs and get my mom and sister and we start suctioning her and she just keeps struggling for a breath for about 10 - 15 minutes. It is so scary... for both me and her. ARGH! When will it ever end??
Anyway, happy birthday little ROO... Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

The day I was waiting for....

Now since I am a dancer, I love this guy. I heard the rumor this video was out there and now I found it!!! YAY!!!! ENJOY!!!

WHAT THE $&#*&h&*(&

So Ashlyn starts with sickness 2 1/2 weeks ago... my dad started with the flu yesterday... Kevin started last night... mom started this afternoon... Raelyn started tonight... So by tomorrow it may have succeeded in hitting all of us. AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! And I am the one with the weakest immune system. Please pray that I don't get it. I will go postal! Good luck all you "well" people. It's gon' gitcha.

For Tori...

We could've done a lot more of this stuff... together... and got into A LOT of trouble!

(Just copy and paste this to your blog and bold the ones that you HAVE done.)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland … and Disneyworld!
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo- I did Karaoke!!!
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris (in Vegas)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child- working on it!!!
16. Had food poisoning
17. -Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- I at least get to see it in a few months
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when your not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person- again, I get to in a few months!
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square- countdown has begun!
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car- well at least new to me!
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

100. One cavity or less

MY Feelings.

So I am not one to wear my feelings on my sleeves. I bottle them up and let them fester inside of me until I can't take it anymore. Then I get so far down in negative town that it takes a long time to come back around.
This blog is for me to express MY feelings on. I post what I want and I don't really care if it hurts people's feelings. That is what this post is about. If I offend anyone, too bad so sad. Cry me a river. Build a bridge and get over it.
I guess you could say that lately I have been visiting Negative Town quite often. In fact, they made me honorary Downer-Meister. I have been known to have depression for most of my life. It sucks. I even took meds to which they only made it worse. I saw counselors but knew how to fake it and get through them. I can fake my happiness pretty well... I think.
Anyway, I think what I am feeling is still postpartum depression. I love Ashlyn SO SO SO much and she makes me so happy. I could be in the worst of moods and she can flash me a smile and turn my frown upside down. I waited so long for her to arrive and can't see my life without her. I think that the depression is from always sitting at home doing absolutely nothing, all the time. I can't go for a drive with her because I am so afraid that she will quit breathing on me and I won't even know it. I know that I am missing out on so much because of that. But I love Ashlyn and would do anything for her. Even sit and home and do nothing.
Another thing is, that I miss my friends. All of them. When I do get to see some of you, I feel totally out of the loop at the things you say. I have no clue what you are talking about because you are off doing fun things without me. I am not saying this for any pity. I am stating facts of how I feel. I feel like I am in High School again, or hell, even Junior High when it first started. Is there something wrong with me? It makes me feel as though no one wants to be around me because of my negativity. I understand. I had my heart broken TWICE by guys because of my negativity. I am so happy that they both found girls who truly make them happy and that they don't have to deal with all my B.S. At the same time I am so jealous of them because they are happy. I should be that way, but I am not. I don't know why, I can't change it. I am also greatful for these wives to let me continue to talk to their husbands once in a while. They were, at one point, a big part of my life and I still care for their friendship.
So why can't I just make myself happy you ask? I have tried. I doesn't work.
I sit and think about all the "what if's" and "why's" and it gets me know where. Now I don't share this with a lot of people, but I have tried to end my life. Not recently, but I did. Actually quite a few times. I sit and wonder what made me not go through with it and the answer I keep coming up with, and what I told my counselor, is that there must be something that I know would make me happy and I would miss out on it if I completed the task. So far, it's been Ashlyn. I think that I just needed to wait around a little while and find out what it really was.
I know that I have major issues. I don't need any help to figure that out. I just need to figure out for myself what is important in my life. Do I really care that I am left out of a lot of stuff, or is it just Negative Nancy thinking that I am. Do I try to hold on to friendships that don't really seem to be there anymore? Do I just go sit in my bubble and clean it with windex all day?
I think that these feelings come out more around Christmas time because I really don't care for the Holiday. I care for the meaning behind it with Christ and all, but other than that it could just come and go and I wouldn't mind. I don't remember a lot of happy Christmas' growing up. Dad was never really into it and I am a total daddy's girl so maybe that is where I get it from. Who knows.
Well I am calling a town meeting for those in Negative Town so I will end this now. I am not directing any of this stuff to anyone in particular so don't get your panties in a bunch. Or boxers. Or G's. Or whatever you where. If you ask me who I might be talking about, well I ain't gonna say. These are MY feelings. It's a free country and until the 20th I have my freedom of speach. Obama is gonna take away my hand gun, maybe he will take away my freedom of speach too. If that happens I will still carry my handgun and still say what I want. Where I want. How I want. And who I want to say it to. Okay, I will probably just blog about it.
Love you all who truly care for me and my attitude. It's what makes me who I am.